Rashy.org

You may not realize it, but in the service industry, the workers complain about the customers as much as the customers complain about the workers. Kind of ironic, isn’t it? Fortunately most customers are tolerable, but there are some that just really get under our skin and make us wish we could just reach out and smack them. So I think I have here the top ten (or so) worst customers to deal with. Don’t be one of them.

10. The needy

These are the people who have to have us help them with every little thing. I’m not talking about those who are actually mentally retarded, but those who are perfectly normal but demand so much of our attention. Usually you can hear these quotes from them: “Hey you! Get that high chair and bring it over here. Thanks, now go fill this up with ketchup for me. You idiot, you didn’t bring back lids for my child when you went to get the ketchup [even though they didn't ask me to get lids].” and so forth. We’re not your slaves, we have other stuff to do, and we don’t get paid enough to wait on one person. Unless you want to give us a nice tip, which we aren’t supposed to take at McDonald’s…

9. The slow

These are the people who take forever to order, forever to drive up to the next windows, and forever to stow away whatever food they order. This also encompasses those who spend forever digging out their money. You know you are going to have to pay, so why don’t you have it out already? Their are only so many options on our menu, and most likely you have been here before, so why does it take you 20 minutes just to decide what you want? We hate waiting on you because we are timed on how fast you move through the drive thru. Other customers hate you because you are slowing them down. Everybody hates you because you are indecisive.

8. Old people

Even though these people are “cute,” especially when they come in pairs, they aren’t very fun to deal with. Most of them are very arrogant and rude, most likely because they have been around for a while and think they know everything. They like to get all up in our faces and tell us everything we did wrong (which usually turns out to be an error in their part. Their only redemption is in their fading intelligence. We get a kick whenever they come through the drive thru and as for their order to be “To Go.”

7. Kids ordering

Why do parents let their kids order? Is it because their kids want to be “cool” and order, so they scream their little heads off until their weak parents cave into their demands? It is not cool when your kids order. Ninety percent of the time they are too shy to speak loud enough for us to hear. Isn’t it funny? They are loud enough to scream until your ears fall off, but can’t place their order in an audible tone. If they are one of the lucky 10%, then they are indecisive and therefore slow. Then there is another portion of kids that order who have to have their parents dictate to them exactly what they want to order (”Tell the nice boy that you want a chicken nugget happy meal.”) Are they too stupid to order (i.e. haven’t grown enough)? Please help us out and do the ordering yourself.

6. Customers who are full of themselves

Customers who are full of themselves are terrible to deal with. These are the people who think they are a corporate CEO, those who act like they own the world. This stupid cocky attitude has got to stop, even if you do own the world. If you are that one person who owns the world, and you just happen to stop by mt store, you just stepped onto land that you don’t own. My store is my turf, I say what happens and you give me your money. Nothing else. No crap attitude. No “Go clean that table right now because I want to sit there.” There are 30 tables in the store, and you want to sit at the table that a family with 10 kids was at 30 seconds earlier? Go pick one that is clean. These customers tend to argue a lot too. I think I know the price, you idiot. I spend eight hours a day, every day of my life, repeating to customers how much a medium fry costs. Oh, and when you try to tell me how to make a sandwhich… “A cheeseburger gets lettuce and you didn’t put lettuce on here!” I have been making cheeseburgers since day one, and this guy swore upon his dead dog (isn’t that an odd thing to swear upon?) that we have always automatically put lettuce on. He is right, we have always put lettuce on our cheeseburgers… for an extra cost that he didn’t pay for. Don’t argue with us veterans*, we know what we are talking about.

*You can tell the veterans from the rookies by measuring how stained their uniform is.

5. Change counters

I can count change. My computer can count change. Even my dog can count change. That means you don’t have to count it yourself. It is so annoying when customers sit there and count out every penny I hand them. They even look disappointed when it is the right amount! Thank you for the vote of confidence. You act like we are trying to rip you off. You act as if you can’t come back and sue our asses off because we shortchanged you by three cents.

4. Big Bills for Little Totals

Why do so many people order $3.00 of food, then pay with a $100 bill? It is completely ridiculous because of the loops we have to jump through to make sure that bills larger than $20.00 aren’t counterfeit. What are you doing carrying around $100 bills anyway? Did you just get back from your drug run and need to get the big bills off of you as fast as you can? Are they counterfeits that you don’t want to get busted with? Carry some smaller bills on you because I really don’t like counting out $96.94 in change. Not to mention, there is a much greater risk that I will count out the wrong amount of change as you give me larger bills. Next time just ask your pimp for $20.00 bills instead of $100.00 bills.

3. Cell Phone Customers

Do you know how rude it is to talk on your cell phone when you come here? Talking on your cell phone while coming through the drive thru is completely ridiculous.

Them: “I would like a double… Hey, what are you doing?”
Me: “I’m not doing anything sir…”
Them: “I’m not talking to you, idiot.” (Because yes, even though there are only 4 brick walls separating us, I can see that you are on the cell phone).
Me: “So thats a double what?”
“I already told you! A double qua… no, I am at McDonald’s, I will be right there.”

Why can’t you just put the cell phone down for 10 seconds and place your order? It would be faster for both of us (see #9) and cause half the confusion. Its not like your call is important: if you are coming to McDonald’s for lunch then you can’t be very high on the corporate ladder. So stop being rude to me and hang up on your stupid girlfriend/boyfriend.

2. Big Orders in Drive Thru

This one is to those customers who spend forever ordering in drive thru because they have a gigantic order. A gigantic order is considered any order that costs more than $15.00 in this case. Some cars come through, and they are overflowing with people, quite literally. They are packed in there so tight, like 20 in a single car, and everybody has to order something. Even worse is when one person orders 20 sandwiches for themselves. What are you going to do with all those cheeseburgers? Never mind, I don’t want to know because you sure don’t have enough room in your stomach for all of them.

Why can’t you just come inside? You just ruined our drive thru timer, and you pissed off all the customers behind you because you took so long to place your order. Stop being lazy and squeeze your family out of the car

1. Preps

Yup, these guys get the number one spot. I am not talking about the preppy girls: they aren’t so bad. It is the preppy guys that I am talking about. You know, the ones with the polo shirt, white boy afro and trucker cap. They always look like they are stoned. Something like this. Just the other night (they always come on Friday) they thought it would be cool to throw eggs at our building. Why would you egg a McDonald’s, and how does that sound when you tell your girlfriend? “I’m so cool, I egged a McDonald’s!” Congratulations, dummy. What is with ordering like you are retarded? The excessive, purposeful stumbling, the dumb and obviously accents, and the “Me no speaka Englas!”? You must be twice as cool because you threw eggs at a McDonald’s then went thru their drive through acting like an idiot. What is twice is funny is they don’t have the guts to do it to my face: when they pull up to the window they act normal. Cowards.