Rashy.org

After my stint at McDonald’s and a few months of rest and relaxation, I decided it was time to get a new job. This was about a month ago that I made that decision, and I ended up landing another job at a food joint. With all this experience in food, I am thinking of giving up my engineering major and going for a culinary position… or not. I don’t want to be an old man and still in the fast food industry. But anyways, it was while working the other day that I realized I support underage gambling, and I liked it.

My job is at a Peter Piper Pizza. For those of you who don’t know, its a lot like a Chuck-E-Cheezes. For those of you who don’t know what that is, you got too old too fast. The basic jist is that we sell tokens, and kids use the tokens to earn tickets in the games that are in our store. Sound familiar? You go to a casino, you purchase chips, and you play the games (except in casinos you get chips in return).

I imagine the reason this is legal is because one way or another, you will always “win.” Even if you don’t get any points, the skee-ball machine will pump out a ticket. Peter Piper really drives home the whole “everybody is a winner” theme. Several of the games scream out such things as “We have a winner!” or “You’ve won!” whenever somebody gets a ticket. Of course, everbody hears this because a ticket always comes out. When you redeem your tickets and the ticket-counting machine, the slip it prints out (to tell you how many tickets you have) has “WINNERS RECIEPT” written nice and big and bold across the top. Yes indeed, every one is a winner.

Not.

I suppose what many people must realise, even when you win, you still lose (of course, I could be over-estimating human intelligence here). That is to say, even by hitting the jackpot, you still get screwed out of your money. Congrats! You won 100 tickets (most machines don’t even give that much for a single coin), you have enough for an Air-Head. What kind of crap is this? I could get a bunch of free ones on halloween night! All these kids are getting excited because they got 7 tickets out of a game, well good job. With a whole 7 tickets you can get a single Tootsie Roll, or if the game attendant is feeling nice a Jolly Rancher! Either way, you are getting ripped out of your money, and you hardly even realise it.

Surprisingly, I am all for this. If it wasn’t for people spending lots of money for cheap prizes, I wouldn’t have a job. God Bless capitalism. And stupid Americans.

Additionally I think underage gambling would be good for little kids. According to the latest James Bond movie, Casino Royale, cards and gambling are all about math. Kids could work on their math, or something to that effect. They also wouldn’t look like idiots when they turn 18 and rush the casinos thinking they are going to win big time.

The least these kids could do is play the games that are actually games. The ones like the basketball game (where you actually throw the balls), the alien shooting game, or the racing actually provide some fun, along with the tickets, whereas the rest simply take a coin and spit out tickets depending on how lucky you are. It takes some mad skills to play the basketball game (the hoop moves and everything!) while anybody can score a handful of tickets on the other games. Another sad reflection on our society I suppose: everybody wants everything for nothing.