Rashy.org

[begin sarcasm]

I have here a compiled here what is perhaps the greatest list of the greatest television shows of all time. There is no better acting, directing, backdrops, and all that other stuff than what is found in these shows. Most of them flopped because people just couldn’t comprehend the beauty in them.

The Bachelor

Fortunately this show is still in the running, and is currently several seasons in. It is considered a great show for all ages. Why this is, I am not sure. All I know is that it gives me hope that someday I will get the chance to have a bunch of hot women fighting over me.

The Bachelorette

This is the spin-off of The Bachelor. While this show lacks the hordes of sexy women fighting for someone, it does have hordes of men fighting for a single women. Does the battle of troy come to mind? Although instead of “The face that launched a million ships!” we have “The face that launched a million drunken bar fights!” The difference between watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is like the difference between female mud wrestling and professional boxing. While we would rather watch the female wrestling, the boxing will suffice in the event the female wrestling is unavailable.

Age of Love

This is a recent start up by CBS (or was it NBC?) that is trying to find if the guy will fall in love with someone who is in their 20’s or 40’s. My prediction: he will choose one of the 40 year olds so he doesn’t look like an asshole who just goes for the young flesh. I am betting on the youngest of the 40 year olds, cause he is still vain like that (and she has the biggest rack).

Science of Love

This is another start up by the same network that is broadcasting Age of Love. Perhaps I should check my sources again, this might be some important information. This show is similar to Age of Love in that it is an experiement on what the true nature of love is (or some other crap like that). Will instinct or science win out in the game of love? Will he choose somebody that a matchmaking quiz says is good for him, or will he choose… where did they find that other girl and how does it fit instinct? Yeah, it confused me too, but confusion is good way to draw a return audience. Want to know the secret to love? Tune into our season finale as our contestant makes his pick! My guess: once again the guy goes for the most attractive. We are pigs like that.

For Love or Money

Again, we see another twist to the discovering of true love. Would a woman chose a million dollars or a man that she falls in love with? You guessed it, money is more important to women. In season two the situation was flipped around, the woman had to find a man, who was offered a million dollars if he didn’t decide to marry her. The man chose to be with the woman! I hate to sound so chauvinistic, but I believe this is great proof that men are better people. It is entirely too bad that this series was cancelled.

So there we have it, the 5 greatest shows ever aired on television. Never have any other shows produced such a dramatic flair, “unpredictable” (I use that term lightly) plot twists, shallow headed thinking, and a nice dose of how dating really should be.

[/end sarcasm]

Another note…

While writing this article I had to do a fair amount of research, and I stumbled across the following ad on About.com:

Apparently it is now socially acceptable to date married women. I believe this is called adultery. While not illegal under United States law, I know I would skin my wife alive if I found her listed on a site like that. God Bless the USA.