Rashy.org

Get back into that kitchen!

I don’t know about everyone else, but my mother has my father whipped. Not just the normal “Will you please pick the kids up from soccer practice” type of whipped, but I mean WHIPPED. He does the laundry, he cooks the meals, works 10 hour days, pulls the weeds in the garden and everything. Apparently since the rise of feminism starting in the 1940s and climaxing with bra-burning in the late ’60s and early ’70s, more and more men have been taking to the kitchen. I’m assuming this is because they fear the withdrawal of sex. Women: this has got to stop! Ever since the trend of feminism has started, the state of the world has been going down the drain. I have prepared several examples to show this.

Global Warming

My studies have concluded that as you increase the percentage of women who work, invariable you will be increasing the amount of green house gases emitted into the atmosphere. I believe this has something to do with the additional driving that women do. It is inevitable that, in an attempt to go to work (or return from work) they will stop at the mall and/or other stores in order to window shop. Also women are notoriously bad drivers. Smoke and other fumes released by their wrecked cars help lead to increased green house gas emissions.

As you can see, global warming grows exponentially as the number of women drivers increases linearly. As anyone who has taken math 101 knows, this leads to disastrous results.

Starvation

Global hunger has become more prominent. Why you ask? The cause is men and their cooking. Simple fact of life: men cannot cook. Whole families are starving because women, feeling their “need” to work, are forcing men to cook the food. Lets face it: what kid in their right mind would eat something that dad cooked? Perhaps the only exception to this is for grilling stuff. Nobody grills a steak like a man, and because of this steak is the only meal that a man should ever cook.

Rowdy Teenagers

A bad diet causes bad tempers. I don’t know how many nutritionists have proved this: too many to count. It has also been proven by me that women cook more nutritious meals. Conclusion: Women should be cooking. Youth crime would drop, teenagers might even do their homework for once! What could be better than a perfect little momma’s boy or daddy’s girl?

The Iraq War

Nobody except Bush thinks that the Iraq war is going in the right direction. Once again the cause of this disaster can be pointed at women. Men don’t like to cook because it takes away from other more worth while ventures, such as video games, hunting, and bar crashing. Men are so desperate to get away from cooking that they are signing into the army as an excuse to get away from their chores. As everybody knows, if people didn’t sign up for the army, then we wouldn’t have an army and thusly no war.

Illegal Downloading

I’m not sure how cooking and illegal downloading are related, but it is undeniable that they are. Just take a look at this graph.

Please note that the one billion illegal downloads in 1996 were all committed by Microsoft against Apple.

So women, think of the future of society! Men, get your woman back under control.