Rashy.org

Unlike my article on Great TV Shows, I refuse to even be sarcastic about this. Animal rights are a very serious subject! There are a phenominal amount of animal right organizations out there, and a number of powerful figures that support them, such as Alan Dershowitz. Alan Who? Try and pronounce that name! Who is he, by the way?

Now, for my official stance on animal rights: It is complete bunk! I will admit, like my last article, this one was spurred by a news story: Teen Girls Accused Of Setting Kitten Ablaze. PETA is aghast! Who would treat a poor little kitten in such a way?! Those kids are my heroes, not because they set it on fire, but because they also used gasoline to help it burn! Okay, okay, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an animal hater, more of just a cat hater. Look how ridiculous this turned out: the girls are slammed with 3 years of prison, and the cat is undergoing skin grafts and amputations, an operation that costs $20,000-$30,000. I wonder if anyone ever said “Is this worth it?” Of course, the animal clinic that is performing the surgerys is desperately asking for donations, it must have realised how stupid its decision was a little too late.

Now this event only underscores a more serious problem in our society, that people are inherintly prejudiced. There is a simple and widely recognized rule: “The more cute and cuddly an animal is, the more likely PETA will give a shit about it.” Now, it isn’t one or the other, the animal must be both cute and cuddly. Case in point, the kitten from above. It is both cute and cuddly, and now some animal clinic has gone bankrupt. Now consider a skunk, an animal that is arguably cute (depending on the skunk), but certainly not cuddly. The last time my brother cuddled with a skunk, we kicked him out of the house because we couldn’t stand the stench. Then on the other end of the spectrum are bears. Everybody can agree that grizzly bears are cuddly, just look at all that soft fur that just makes you want to give it a big bear hug. Of course, mama bear isn’t so cute when she is mawling you for cuddling with her cubs.

Perhaps what pisses me off the most about animal rights activists is that they are incredibly stupid and tend to contradict themselves. Lets take for example PETA, the self claimed standard bearer for animal rights, and certainly the largest of such organizations. They have a world wide membership of an astounding 1.6 million people. Wait a minute… the National Association of Shrimp Eaters has a larger membership. I suppose that shows you how much society really cares to protect animals from harm… such as being eaten. Seriously what is wrong with eating some damn meat? Maybe they are right at PETA, humans shouldn
t have ever eaten fish or cows or any other animal. If we had taken that route then humanity would have died off and I wouldn’t have to deal with those idiots at PETA.

Did I mention that PETA has a knack of being hypocritical? In 1999 they sued some dude that created a website called “People Eating Tasty Animals” for trademark infringement or something like that. At the same time, they registered www.ringlingbrothers.com and www.voguemagazine.com becuase those companies both use animals to make money. PETA ended up getting sued for it. That is fact right there, and enough hypocrisy for me to hate anybody. Unfortunately it doesn’t stop there though. Despite advocating life and liberty for animals, PETA regularily euthanizes animals that have leukemia and parvo in order to “end the animals suffering.” Right, lets do a little reverse logic. Assume PETA achieves its goal and animals now have the same legal rights as a human. Now, like animals, humans must be euthanized if they contract leukemia or parvo. WAIT! What happened to spending $20,000 to $30,000 treating kittens? Okay, so PETA gets one thing right, even if it means that they contradict themselves. I hate PETA.