When does the site publish?
At least once a week on Friday. Sometimes I get a little impatient and publish on Thursdays, other times I get a little busy and publish on Saturdays. Occasionally I will throw in something in between just to keep you dogs happy.
What exactly is a Rashy?
Well a Rashy is what happens when you sit for too long. Its those rash like pimples that form on your butt and annoy the hell out of you. This site attempts to do two things to you: make you sit too long reading, as well as annoy the hell out of you. You might want to get some baby powder.
Where did Rashy come from?
Back in the Dark Ages, shortly after the fall of Rome, I was born. It was time for a new power to rise in the absence of the Roman Empire.
I’ve fought in every major war since birth. Never being fond of the French, I took enjoyment in defeating them on the field of battle. I went on vacation from around 1405 to 1490, visiting China and other Asian nations. I returned only to find that during my trip the French actually managed to win a war… with the leadership of a woman. That must have been pretty embarrassing for the English.
I returned in time to see Columbus off on his epic voyage. Personally I hoped that the rats on the ship would eat him and his crew, he was quite a jerk. As history dictates, though, I was disappointed. Due to my disappointment, I decided to start killing people. Of course, the idiots back then thought they were dieing from some disease, the Black Plague or something. It was glorious, I got like 1/3 of the European population.
After this I proceeded to be entertained at the ludicrous situation in England. Everybody was all amazed that a single man, Henry VIII, could have so many of his wives executed. After the bloodbath I was just finished delivering upon the Europeans, it was nothing. Then England flip-flopped on its state religion between Catholicism and Protestantism. Oh yeah, like it matters. There is such a huge difference. The Pope didn’t see it my way, and excommunicates several queens. It was rather anti-climatic. It sounds like excommunication would mean a bloody and violent death, but instead they just get kicked out of the church. I offered to bring about a more bloody solution, but he declined claiming it would be too violent. What a hypocrite, these are the same guys who launched the Crusades. Not that I was against more killing or anything.
Not much interesting happened to me in the next few hundred years. Once again I helped invade and ravage the French. I thought I could leave my goons to finish off that country, and again I was proved wrong.
Around 1800 I made several failed attempts on Jane Austen’s life. Nobody in history needed to exist less than her and her stupid books. Needless to say, I failed miserably. I was so mad at myself, I decided to go rape and pillage Tripoli. That event is now known as the Barbary Wars. I suppose I was a little barbaric, but I was pissed.
After this I moved to the United States. Well, stowed away on one of their ships would be a better description of what I did. It wasn’t long before I got what I wanted. The American Civil War was a right little trite that delighted me. Unfortunately, the French didn’t lose this fight.
Then Prohibition really got me going. I was a pimp, I had speakeasies all over the city, I rivaled Al-Capone himself. That was, until the fuzz moved in on me. That was a dark day in my life. Another failing point in my life was with the Cold War. Try as I might, I could not get those two nations into an all out nuclear war. I am ashamed.
These days I sit around on my rump and write. Partly because I am bored, and partly because I am trying to make money on this new-fangled Internet thing. As you can tell, I have a distaste for the French, and I love insulting and killing. 300 has perhaps been the greatest movie in history, its too bad I was born to late to see the real thing in action.